In Singleness, make sure you are taking care of yourself.
While I am a firm believer that singleness is a time to be super busy with the right things, that doesn’t and shouldn’t take away from your own self-care and self-love. If anything, this is the season to put yourself first by any means necessary.
Many people think that because you are single, you are always available. That is a myth. I actually think I am busier than some of my friends who are married and have children because their time is so limited. Their “busy” is very different, whereas my “busy” can change anytime I want it to.
The liberty in this season of singleness is a blessing, though I know it does not always feel that way. This season is truly meant to be busy with you and God… everyone and everything else comes after that.
In the past, I have stretched myself thin because people think I can (because I am single) and even I thought that way too. That only led me feeling depleted and burnt out. Singleness can be a full season, but it should also be balanced out with rest and intentional “me time”.
Don’t give into the urge to be there for everyone just because you can. Be there for yourself first.
It’s easy to set boundaries when you are in a relationship, married, or with children because they become your priority, but I encourage you single ladies to learn how to set those boundaries NOW.
I am learning that I have to take care of myself before anyone else can. I have to be willing to do what’s in my best interest instead of depending on others to do that work for me.
Plus- I believe once you put yourself first and start to invest in yourself, the right person will find you; a person who also took time to take care of themselves.
Self-care is not selfish (another myth). We hear this, but I want you to really sink that in. Who else (besides God) will care for you in your singleness if you don’t.
The way you care for yourself is the foundation of which others will care for you. Start saying “no” to some things, set time aside to be alone and watch movies, take a solo trip or date, book that massage, pamper yourself, have quiet time with God, put your needs first, communicate how you feel, and so on and so forth. I advise you not to take this single season as a “free for all” season. That can easily make you feel like you’re there for everyone else, but not getting that back in return. Just like self-care is selfish, so is singleness.
Remember…
This season will come to an end for you very soon. You do not want to look back and regret the time you had to discover purpose, learn who you are, work on yourself, handle that unresolved trauma, take a mental health break off social media, take trips, and enjoy life; all because you were too busy with everything and everyone else but you.
In addition to that, this season is also prepping ground. No one truly wants to be with someone they have to teach, fix, or heal. We find ourselves in those situations, but I don't believe we truly want that. Before the rose-tinted glasses appear attractive, make sure you already are attractive. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. As women, we want the whole package BUT don't forget..so do men.
The next season ahead will come with its own fun, enjoyment, and ups and downs. Self-care will look different in the next season, but what it looks like in your singleness is the beginning.
Whatever caring for you is, do it. Be the whole and true you, because that is what will matter in the seasons to come.
And that leads me to taking my own medicine. In essence, I am going to take some time to care for myself by pausing my blogs and vlogs for a little while. I love sharing words of encouragement to singles and I love to write, but sis is a little burnt out lol. Plus, I need some quiet time to see what God wants from me and how I can pour into singles later on.
If you don’t remember anything in this blog series for singleness, remember this…
Always and I do mean always, find your way back to you. Because in that very place, God will meet you there. God is more concerned about your character and the work He wants to do in you, than the work you find yourself busy with. Don’t let the busyness of this season or purpose distract you, but more so prepare, better, heal, and refine you. That’s what I’m learning.
I love you. Stay single... until someone worth it comes along. It's worth the wait.